Irate Customers

An angry customer on the phone is a customer who still wants to do business with you. The quiet ones are the ones you have already lost. That is the single idea behind everything below, and it changes how you handle irate customers: you are not defending the company, you are trying to keep someone who cares enough to shout.

Complaints are unavoidable. Some are warranted and some are not. Having the skill and patience to deal with them is what makes, or breaks, a service and help desk team.

Anyone working in customer service or a help desk is at the sharp end of this. Yes, there are the picky ones, and the chronic complainers who just like to hear their own voice. I am not covering them here. People who complain about a product or service have generally not received what they paid for. Most people hate complaining and avoid it, so keep that in mind when you pick up the phone. They are not trying to make your life difficult. They have a genuine issue that should be looked into.

Why do customers get difficult?

They come in several varieties: angry, impatient, intimidating, talkative, demanding, indecisive, and any combination you can think of. Dealing with the extremes is not easy and it should not be treated as if it were. It still has to be done, and done professionally.

You cannot change someone else, and you cannot control their behavior. You control yourself and your own actions. You can, however, influence how customers respond to you.

Most customers are reasonable people. They get difficult when something has gone wrong and they feel let down. What happens next decides whether they deal with you again or bad-mouth you to everyone they know.

The caller on your line is not the real problem. The real problem is the 10 or more customers who left without speaking to you because they were dissatisfied. The commonly cited estimate is that as many as 90% of customers who feel wronged never complain at all. They take their business elsewhere. The one shouting at you has not decided to leave yet. That customer is worth saving.

If you are happy with our service, please tell your friends. If you are unhappy with our service, please tell us!

You see that line advertised everywhere, and it should be more than a slogan. A company has to believe it and live it. The only way to know your customers are happy is to talk to them, and while a customer is berating you, you have a chance to win them over. I cannot count the number of times I have done exactly that, kept the customer, and turned them into one of my biggest advocates.

It also is not about being clever. Harvard Business Review’s research on what customers actually want from service points the same way: they care far more about getting the problem solved without effort than about being delighted. An angry caller wants it fixed, and wants to stop having to explain it.

What are the six steps to turn an irate customer around?

They are laid out in a fairly logical order, although some overlap, and they fit most of the cases you will come across.

1. Control yourself
2. Listen
3. Empathize
4. Identify the problem
5. Don’t blame anyone
6. Resolve the issue

1. Control. The easiest way is to remember that it is not you. When a person complains, they are not attacking you personally. The problem they ran into is causing the irritation. Never argue with a customer who is angry or complaining. If you let them push your buttons and you lose control of yourself, you have lost control of the situation. Show boredom, irritation or disdain and you can lose a good customer on the spot.

Keep a respect for the person even when you do not respect their behavior. They are not mad at you. I repeat it on purpose, because more than one help desk manager has been flummoxed by taking the issue personally. The same rule applies to the feedback you give your own staff when they are not performing, which I covered in my review of The One Minute Manager.

2. Listen. Let them talk. Do not interrupt mid-flow to argue a point. This sounds easier than it is, because everyone wants to justify themselves or offer a reason for the fault. Don’t. Once you have asked them to explain, stay quiet until they finish. It is the only way to get the full picture from the customer’s side, and they are upset and, in their own eyes, justified. You cannot take that away from them, whatever you say. What you do afterwards decides how they feel at the end.

More often than not, once the customer has vented, the rage dies down a little. That is your opening.

Say, “I can tell you’re upset…” or, “It sounds like you’re angry…” then connect by apologizing or empathizing: “I’m sorry that happened. If I were you, I’d be frustrated, too.” It is amazing how much of a calming effect that has.

3. Empathy. Put yourself in the customer’s shoes and look at it from their side. Don’t cut them off and don’t tell them to calm down. If someone is angry, they feel injured in some way, and your job is to understand where that comes from. Listening attentively sends a powerful unspoken message that you care about them and their situation. Often the customer calms down on their own once they realize you are going to try to help, and starts working with you instead of against you.

4. Identification. Sometimes the problem is clear while they are still venting: something is broken, or late, or a promise was broken. Once you know what it is, repeat it back so they know you heard it correctly. If you assumed right, they say yes and you move on. If not, ask for details. What day did they order it, when exactly was it promised, what is their situation right now? Questions like these pull the customer toward facts and away from feelings about the facts, and that moves the conversation somewhere more rational.

Then you must apologize for the problem and for the impact it had. That is not an admission of fault. It is another part of empathy.

5. The blame game. This is not the customer’s fault. Never blame them for coming to you with a complaint. Thank them for the chance to excel. It may not be your company’s fault either, and it is still correct to apologize.

6. Resolution. There will not be a successful outcome every time, and what satisfies one customer will not satisfy another. What matters is going about it the right way. You will not always fix the problem perfectly, and you may need more than one call. It is critical that the customer leaves understanding that your goal is to resolve it. If you need to make some calls, say so, and give a time: “later this afternoon” or “first thing in the morning.”

Then do it. Whatever you committed to, keep it. Miss it and they will be angry at you, and this time they would be justified. Even if you do not have everything you need, call when you said you would and tell them what you have done, what you are working on and what comes next. Let them know they and their business matter, that you understand the frustration and that you are working to fix it.

If you cannot resolve it to their satisfaction, ask them how they would like it resolved. There is no harm in the question. Their answer may be something you cannot do but that someone higher in the organization can. This is the same instinct that sits behind exceptional customer service in general: the goal is the customer’s outcome, not your script.

What does the six-step call sound like in practice?

Here is an illustration, not a transcript. A customer was promised a replacement part by Tuesday. It is Thursday, and they are on the phone and furious.

You say nothing while they tell you about the missed deadline, the two earlier calls and the afternoon they spent waiting at home. That is control and listening. When they finally stop, you say, “I can tell you’re upset, and I’m sorry that happened. If I were you, I’d be frustrated too.” That is empathy, and it is also the apology.

Then you repeat it back. “So the part was promised for Tuesday, you haven’t received it, and nobody called you to say it was late. Is that right?” They say yes, or they correct you, and either way you now both know what the problem is. You do not mention the courier, the warehouse or the other department. That is the blame game, and the customer does not care whose fault it is.

Now the resolution. “I’m going to find out where it is right now. I’ll call you back by 3 o’clock this afternoon with an answer, even if the answer is that I’m still waiting.” And at 3 o’clock, you call. The call matters more than what you have to say on it.

What should you never say to an angry customer?

Most of the damage on these calls comes from a handful of phrases. Every one of them tells the customer that you are protecting yourself, not helping them.

• “Calm down.” It has never calmed anyone down. It tells them their anger is the problem, when the problem is whatever caused it.
• “That’s our policy.” The customer did not write the policy and did not ask for it. If a policy stands in the way, explain what you can do instead.
• “You should have…” This is blaming the customer for coming to you with a complaint.
• “That’s not my department.” It may be true. Say “I’ll find out who can fix this and make sure they do” instead.
• “I understand.” Said too early, before you have listened, it sounds like a script. Show it by repeating back what they told you.

The pattern is the same each time. The words that fail are the ones that start an argument or hand the problem to someone else. The words that work keep the customer talking and keep the problem in your hands.

What does this mean for the person managing the team?

If you run a help desk, these calls are also a signal. Remember the 10 customers who left without calling. Every complaint your team handles is a rare, free look at a problem that is quietly costing you others, so make sure complaints get written down and passed on, not just survived.

It also means looking after the people taking the calls. Handling anger all day without taking it personally is hard. Staff who have been shouted at need a way to reset, and a manager who has told them clearly, “it is not you,” and who backs them when a call goes badly. The point about taking the issue personally applies to managers as much as to agents.

Calm is the one thing you control

Staying calm lets you think clearly and eventually win the customer around. The moment you start reacting to them, you have lost the plot and the control of the call.

The more difficult customers you handle, the easier it gets and the more satisfactory outcomes you see. Every help desk team learns this the same way, one hard call at a time.

You are never going to win them all, so do not get disheartened. If you treat people with respect, they remember it, and when your competition causes them grief, chances are good they will be back.